I'm An Idiot / My Little Bruiser...

I can't believe how stupid I am. Lately it's been showing more and more and I'm going to blame it on lack of sleep and the whole momnesia thing. I've had two big instances in the past couple days that I just have to laugh at. The first isn't really that big, I just found it really stupid and couldn't stop laughing at myself. Jeff and I were getting ready for the possibility of being hit by a huge cat 4 hurricane (thankfully we're no longer in the path) and Jeff was heading out to check and make sure our generator was working. So I asked him "do you have a power cord to plug it in" meaning "to make it work you need to plug it in". As soon as I said it I realized what an idiot I was. For some reason I was thinking that to turn it on you had to plug it in, just a little stupid when the fact is that you plug stuff into it because you have no electricity. Wouldn't quite work if you had to plug it in. Anyways, pretty stupid you see.

But the second one, now that was real stupidity. I had just put new blades on our clippers so that I could cut Noah's hair and was not looking forward to the screaming and frustration that is cutting his hair. In my haste to get this horrible task over with I rushed into cutting his hair and as soon as I put the clippers to his head I realized my mistake. It couldn't have been much worse. Usually when I cut his hair I put the longest blade guard on (I think it's a one inch guard) and put the fader switch all the way out so that it leaves the hair as long as possible. But no, not this time - no guard and the fader all the way short, as short as possible instead of as long as possible. I couldn't believe what I had just done and almost instantly started to cry when I realized that it was the end of his mohawk for a while. So after that first dreadful swipe of the clippers I had to continue on my path of destruction and finish his whole head ( I did make it a little longer and left one little short patch, hopping that it will grow out quickly). Not adding to my insecurities Syd came around the corner just after I finished and started crying and saying that she didn't like Noah's hair and to make it go back. Ya, that didn't help me and the tears really started flowing for me then. How stupid is that. I was that much in love with his hawk (he'd had it since his first hair wash in the hospital) that I couldn't face the fact that I had just killed it. Jeff did everything he could to help me feel better but Sydney countered all his efforts by continually telling us she didn't like it.

I'm starting to get used to it but it still shocks me just for a second when I see him after not seeing him for a while (like after a nap or first thing in the morning). To me he looks so much more like Jeff now, not a bad thing. It did make him look older in my opinion and Jeff and I have decided that he looks more like a little bruiser and someone just looking for trouble. It kinda goes a long with his sudden burst of testosterone and desire to run full-tilt into people's legs tackle-style, wrestle and "box" with daddy (and everyone else) and make all his toys (like cars and airplanes) crash into each other. He's really becoming a little "boy".

I just have to keep reminding myself that the 'hawk will grow back soon and that it's only hair and not even mine. Man, what am I going to do when I finally cut Syd's hair that has to this day (closing in on four years) never had a pair of scissors come close to it. I'm not sure who's more attached to it, me or her. After watching her response to Noah's haircut I'm really scared what's going to happen when it's her turn.

(picture to come soon)