Seclusion...

So trying to pick up where I left off... day three of radiation was pretty boring. I spent the whole day catching up on this years receipts and money stuff that had totally gotten lost in the mayhem. I'm one of those people who records everything we buy and all money that comes in or out so that when it comes time to do my taxes it only takes a few minutes to get the accurate numbers and also so that if a big money thing comes up I can tell pretty quickly if we can work it or not. Well, I had caught things up just before Caleb, then things got lost in the shuffle and nothing got entered into my computer program. Then I got everything caught up for the 2009 tax year to do my taxes but nothing from January 1st till then had been entered so that's what I did. It was long, boring and challenging since my eyes didn't want to focus very well. As part of going hypo (having no thyroid hormones in my system) my eyes had a hard time focusing, especially on writing or the computer screen. It basically made the words/numbers move around like one of those spiral/bulls eye optical illusion things. It made it really hard to do a lot of reading and the numbers on the receipts definitely moved around and hopefully the numbers are pretty accurate in my records. But I got it finished and now am mostly continuing to keep it currant.

After a boring 3rd day of seclusion things got a bit better. By that I mean that I was off my awful low-iodine diet starting day 4 and also able to start taking my hormone replacement pills again. That was a big help, the pills, and I started feeling slightly more normal relatively quickly (within a few days I was able to stay awake for the whole day, no nap needed). The doctor gave me some extra meds to take at the same time so that my hormone levels would get up quick and that really helped, although the extras only lasted for two weeks and now that I don't have those extra pills I feel myself heading back to hypo land, having a hard time staying awake and focusing. Hopefully things will level out quickly and if they don't then when I see my doc in a couple of weeks hopefully we'll be able to up the dose and get things sorted out!

Anyways, since it's been almost a month now (wow, I can't believe it's already been that long!) the last few days are mashing together. I remember going for a walk with my mom and the two little boys while Jeff took Sydney and Noah to homeschool co-op, with me walking a good 4 feet away from them. I also remember watching every episode in seasons 1 and 2 of Everest: Beyond the Limit. Those are pretty addicting and I found myself wishing there were more seasons when I finished them. We have a Roku player in our bedroom which is basically a little box that connects us to our instant playlist from Netflix and allows us to watch anything on it. So I watch a few shows, although nothing was all that great or memorable. I was also able to come out of my room more at that point, at least when the kids were in bed. So after the kids were tucked in to dreamland, I brought my sheet out and put it over the chair that I sat in to hang out with Jeff and my mom and watch tv.

The kids seemed to do really well in understanding that mommy couldn't touch them and that they couldn't get to close to me. So a few times at the end of my seclusion I opened the door and stood just inside the doorway to talk to them and break up the odd fight that was getting a little out of control and which I didn't want to make my mom play "mom" but let her remain "Grandma". But the kids did great with it. They would say hi and talk for a few minutes and then continue on playing. It was really nice to see and hear them, even if I still couldn't touch them.

And that was basically my seclusion. Nothing too exciting, nothing to horrible. It went way better than I had expected it and way faster too! There are definitely times that I wish I could go and lock myself back in there when things start getting a little out of control.

Saturday, 6 days after my radiation treatment, I re-entered the world. I still didn't really touch anyone, especially the kids and generally kept my distance, but my mom took me shopping for my birthday and as a celebration for finishing everything. It was such a wonderful time! It's one of the biggest things that I miss living so far from my family, getting to just spend time together. We had a great lunch and then headed over to our favorite store, Kohl's where we spent a few hours trying on clothes. We ended up spending around $180.00 but saved $499 or something close to that! That makes any shopping day feel like a great one!

Then Sunday came and I got to give my kids a hug and that was awesome! Just getting to be close to them again was wonderful! We also celebrated my birthday that afternoon. My birthday was actually the previous Sunday but since it had fallen on Easter Sunday and I wasn't able to really eat anything because of my special diet we decided that we'd just celebrate it the following week. I wanted to make sure that the kids understood that as important as our birthdays are (and our family loves to celebrate our birthdays) that Jesus died for our sins and rose again is WAY more important. We talked about it a few times and they seemed to get the idea. It also helped that I knew that I couldn't eat my favorite birthday cake, Cheesecake Factory cheesecake for a couple of days and then I'd be in the middle of my seclusion, so it just worked better that way.

So Sunday was a good fun day for all and officially ended my seclusion. I still didn't spend a ton of time holding Luke or Caleb, especially Caleb, because they are so small and I just didn't want to take the chance on radiating them. My mom left Tuesday afternoon and I had a follow-up full body scan that afternoon as well. It was a great day, marking the end of my radiation treatment, but sad too in that my mom was leaving. Although, I can't lie, it was nice to come home from my scan to just our family, no one else. I have loved having my mom and Jeff's mom staying with us and helping us out! But there's just something nice to just being "us" again. Okay, it's a ton more work and a lot harder to make it out of the door on time, but it's nice to just be able to relax that much more.

And that's that. My week of seclusion over, life continuing on as if nothing ever really happen, me finally getting to really find out what it's like to have four kids and no one other than your husband, who works full-time, to help you.