Wow, My Hundredth Post...

I was just logging on to write a great post and realized that it was my hundredth one. Wow, I can't believe I've written that many. Well, I will now go on to reveal my 100th blog posting... are you ready?

The Wipes Rating System

I don't know what it is between Jeff and me, whether it's our intense competitiveness, our love of "one-up-ing" the other person, our wanting the other person to think and know how great of a parent we are, or just our strange fascination with poo, but recently Jeff and I developed (okay, more I developed) a scale for rating the poopy diapers that we change. It's based on the number of wipes that it takes to fully clean and re-diaper the child and also on who is doing the changing. You see Jeff generally uses up to double the amount of wipes that I do. I don't know if he's more scared of getting a little poop on his hands, or if he just does a better job or if I'm just stingy and trying to save, but whatever the reason, it almost always turns out that he uses close to double the wipes and therefore it has to be reflected in the "wipes scale". Therefore depending on who is bragging/complaining the number either has to be doubled or halved. Example: I said "I just changed a 4 wipe poo" to Jeff that would be considered an 8 wipe poo and if Jeff said "I just changed a 6 wipe poo", to me it would mean a 3 wipe poo. Make sense? So here it is...

A 1 wipe poo isn't really a poo at all, but just a wet diaper that is quickly and easily changed.
A 2 wipe poo is one that barely does any damage, basically nothing but a wet fart (or in Jeff's case just a wet diaper)
A 3-5 wipe poo is one the is decently full or at least a little more solid and doesn't take so many wipes
A 6-8 wipe poo is one that fills the diaper and starts to overflow onto the body and clothes
A 9 wipe poo is one where it was so full that between carrying the baby to the change table and taking off the clothes you realize that it would probably make more sense to just give the baby a bath because you'll basically be giving the baby a full body sponge bath with wipes. And hey, a bath is much more economical and much more fun than changing the diaper and then washing the changing pad that is now covered in poo
A 10 wipe poo is reserved for those rare occasions when you have finally finished sponge bathing the baby with wipes and are just about to put the new diaper on and the baby lets it rip before you succeed in a complete change

So there you have it. If I've totally grossed you out by talking about poo ( a total of 17 mentions of the word poo or it's derivative, now 18), well, then you're probably not a parent yet or you haven't dealt with pooping babies in a long time, or you're just plain squeamish, and if that's the case, get over it. So here's to hoping that the next diaper you change is a One or Two and not a Ten Wipe Poo.