What The Heck is Wrong With My Stomach...

For the past couple weeks I've been getting these crazy feelings in my stomach/lower abdomen. Kinda the feeling like I might be having to run to the bathroom shortly, or sort of like a strange muscle spasm. Just weird, sometimes faint, barely noticeable, other times pretty strong. Then after a second it suddenly clicks in, oh right, I'm pregnant, hi baby! Yup, the baby has started moving, or more accurately, I've started feeling the baby move.

If you haven't heard yet, we're having our 4th, yes you read that right, 4th baby. I'm still in shock about it too. Well, not so much shock as just kinda amazed and somewhat forgetful about it (the whole "baby brain" thing is definitely kicking in!). As of tomorrow I'll be 21 weeks, crazy, more than halfway already. It's gone by really, really quickly so far, but it helps that I didn't know, or at least hadn't confirmed it until I was just over twelve weeks along.

Now the obvious question you're all thinking, what, you didn't know until you were almost three months in!?!?!?! Ya, part of me had a small suspicion that I might be but, let's just say Jeff can convince me of just about anything and when I mentioned that I thought I might be pregnant he said, ya right, no way. So that's what I thought. My body was a little off schedule so I couldn't really go by the normal "marker" to tell whether I was pregnant or not and I really couldn't remember when I should be back "on". And as for the whole sick and tired part, well, I've been feeling that way for the past three years or so it seems, so it was nothing new. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, I was more tired and more nauseous but I chalked it up to other things. Looking back it's pretty obvious but well, hindsight is so much better. There was definitely a part of me that knew... I had stopped using my special toothpaste that I can't use when pregnant and I knew something wasn't right but wasn't sure what. I actually ended up taking a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn't pregnant, not that I was.

You have to know that I hate doctors and it takes a lot for me to go, but I was ready to be done with being so sick and tired all the time that I decided I better take a pregnancy test before I go because I knew that was going to be one of the first questions and I wanted to be able to say, no, I'm not pregnant, and yes I'm sure. But, well, the test came back positive and well, that explained a whole lot and now I needed a whole different kind of doctor.

So about two weeks later I was able to get in to the midwife and have everything confirmed. It was really nerve racking. After two miscarriages there's a whole lot of nerves and worries floating around, especially in the early weeks. So when it took more than a few seconds for the midwife to find the baby's heartbeat I was a complete mess, but then, we finally heard it! What a great feeling. Things weren't quite lining up as to dates and size so I was scheduled for an ultrasound to find out just when we might expect this baby. When I finally had the ultrasound everything was looking great and it was determined that I was around 16 weeks along. What a great surprise, especially since I thought there was a good chance I was only around 10 weeks. That meant at Christmas baby. Yup, I'm due on Christmas Day!That happiness was slightly dampened when I discovered that this baby has cortoriod plexus cysts in his/her brain. Now it really isn't that big of a deal, both of my other boys have had it and we've had no problems at all. Thankfully this time they didn't make me go and see the genetic counsellor (such a waste of time) but only get an extra, more in depth ultrasound. And for me, it's kind of a nice thing, it basically means that I get a whole lot more ultrasounds than the average prego. As I said, both Luke and Noah had it, in fact, they both had it on both sides. This baby seems to only have it on one side, so that's a good thing. I get to go back for my next ultrasound to make sure it's shrinking or even gone in a couple of weeks. I think with Luke I ended up having something like 6 ultrasounds or something crazy like that, so maybe this time I'll get a bunch too, for me it's just extra pics and sneak peeks into what the baby is looking like.

And for all those interested, no we didn't find out the sex. We have been surprised for all three so far and loved it, so we're doing it again. I'm feeling like it's going to be another boy, at least that's what I'm telling myself it's gonna be. I figure it'll be a lot easier to accept three boys and one girl if that's what I set myself up for, and what a fun surprise if it ends up being a girl and I have two and two. But if I tell myself it's a girl it might be a bit of a let down when it turns out to be a boy. I know that all that matters is that the baby is healthy, and really, that's so true, but come on, who wouldn't agree that even numbers would work out better. Especially in bedroom assignments. We only have a three bedroom and the boys are already sharing the bigger room. So if we end up with another boy that means either there are three boys in one room (oh, my craziness!) or Syd will have to share with one of the boys. That could get a little interesting.

Anyways, things are going pretty good so far. All the excitement and complete busyness of all the house stuff has definitely helped things pass more quickly. And I've started having to move into some maternity clothes. On a down side (or possibly up side depending on how you look at it) after having Luke we thought we were done and I gave away all my maternity clothes. So now I've had to go shopping and buy some new stuff. But I'm in that completely annoying stage where my clothes no longer fit but prego clothes are still like tents. So I've bought a couple shirts to help make it through and am enjoying the comfort of stretchy waistband pants. It sure won't be long before there's no denying I've got a belly, I'm pretty much there already, but still trying to deny it. It's hard to accept that even though this is my 4th baby, I've got a belly now that's close to where I was almost two months farther along with Sydney. I may even be three or so weeks bigger now than with Luke, so, so sad. I now it's normal, but still weird and hard to accept that it's growing and only going to get a lot, and I mean a lot, bigger. I guess that's just what happens and I'll have to learn to accept it.